blech

I haven't blogged much lately. Whatever is wrong with me health-wise has been worsening to the point where I really can't stand the pain at all any more. The neverending winter from hell isn't helping much either.
Only 11 days now until I see the specialist, I'm just hoping they can figure out what's wrong and fix it.
Sorry it's a short entry, but I can't sit for long with the pain to type. I'll update after I see the specialist.
D.

on the upswing?

sometimes my posts are a little uh...down, I know, to put it mildly.
Last night I was feeling super depressed, but luckily posting depressing poetry I wrote on here did help me vent. :D (sorry , ha)

I didn't sleep at all last night between worrying about things, pain, and the stupid cat yowling right beside my head every time I would have the audacity to doze off.

I had talked to my other best friend, Mike, last night earlier though and planned to meet him for coffee this morning. Well, he had coffee, my stomach could only cope with diet coke. Mike's my oldest (and bestest along with Seanie) friend; we went to college for music together back in the Dark Ages and we've not been able to scrape each other off since. :P
I do find that spending time with Mike or Sean and being able to talk about things definitely does make me feel better.
I'm still feeling very sick today, but my soul feels a bit better. :)
And I don't think any cat or beast could keep me awake again tonight in my exhausted state! :P
Deb out.
D.

some days

Some days
I just get sick of feeling sick
Sick of being alone
Sick of waiting
Some days
I wish that you
Would rush to my side
Like I would to yours
If the tables were turned.
Some days
I just feel disheartened.
And sick.

D.

lazy me, paint and bureacratic b.s.

Yeah so I haven't blogged since before Christmas, sue me.
I haven't been that well, still waiting for the March 11th hemotology appointment, unless there's a cancellation before then, (which I am not, at this point, holding my breath for)
I'm getting by though. Even did some painting last week, first time since I got sick five months-ish ago, I think.
So what's new? hmmm, let's see. My sweet best friend Seanie bought Matt Good tickets for Matt's Cleveland concert on my birthday March 20th for a birthday gift for me..:) That's the good news. The bad news was that when I went to get my passport so I can go, last week, I was informed I couldn't get a passport because my birth certificate had EXPIRED. WTF!!! Most effing retarded thing I ever heard of. Apparently birth certificates issued in the province of Quebec before 1994 have been declared invalid because they were accepting some forms of religious i.d. for them prior to then....or some such stupid shit. You would think they would notify people of this, but nooooo. So I had to get my MPP to help me, pay an extra 50 bucks to rush the application as i need to travel in March, and pay 20 bucks to courier the i.d. and the application to Quebec because they don't "like " faxes. For a birth certificate I already had, basically. And they've known this since 1994. And I've went to the States twice since then, and could ostensibly have been refused re entry into Canada as my only i.d. showing my citizenship is "invalid". Nice, eh.
Then, if there is no problem with getting the birth certificate, i can then pay twice as much as normal (170 bucks) to try and accelerate the passport application process. Craziness. What a country.
I really swear I was Hitler in a former life to deserve the punishment that is this one sometimes.
D.

Health care, shmealth care

So the promised hemotology appointment has still not materialized. I spoke with my family doctor´s office and they had had actual voice contact with the ´backfromvacationallimportantappointmentbooking girl’ early today. She told them for sure she would call back today with an appointment for me. Needless to say, she did not do this, and when my doctor’s office called back later, they could only get an answering machine. I think this is absolutely ridiculous and total bullshit. I asked if my doctor could possibly refer me to someone else and I guess they are working on it. GRRRRR.

There is way too much snow here. It was so hard to get out of my parking spot today with the snow all piled in this corner. GRRRR.

/end of bitchfest

D.

snow, snow, go away......

Well I saw my Seanie Thursday night and it was wonderful as always to see him. :)

My open house last night didnt go exactly as planned due to a blizzard. A few people did show up though, and we all had a really good time. My other best friend, Mike, came with his gf, and Chantel and her kids, Tish and her kids, and Lori all came as well.

The landlord (aka the troll) and the snow plow they hired put a six foot pile of snow blocking my car in the driveway...nobody elses. just mine. And mine is the only one without a garage. And mine is the only handicapped/wheelchair accessible unit, go figure.

I hate snow. That is all.
D.

Drugs in my pocket....and I DO know what to do with them...

Well I still have not gotten an appointment date to see the hemotologist after 3 weeks of my family doctor trying to get an urgent referral for me. My doctor says that their office keeps telling her that the girl who makes the appointments is on holiday and to call back on Monday. Two weeks in a row now. This seems somewhat fishy to me. First of all ...why the hell is there only one person who can make appointments there (apparently shes a pretty damn important part of that office, eh), secondly, why do they keep telling us she will return on Monday two weeks in a row, and finally, what the HELL...you would not want to be deathly ill would you if an URGENT referral has you wait this long. If you had anything life threatening, I guess it would be up to your family to sue them as you would likely be dead by the time you got an appointment date. end of rant.

Side note:I am taking enough percacet to kill an elephant I think. By the time they figure out what is going on with me and get rid of this pain I will be heading for drug rehab.

On a happier note, Sean is coming over tonight. I love my Seanie. :) He couldnt make it to my open house this Saturday so is coming over tonight instead to exchange gifts etc. I have been in a cookie baking frenzy. Every square inch of my fridge freezer and deep freeze is filled with cookies and I have (fingers crossed) thus far managed to keep Braden from eating them all. I had to get them all done before Sat. so I can give people cookies for Xmas. Ive been in good spirits (might be the percacet) and looking forward to the celebrations this year. I think having this party was a good idea, keeps my mind off the pain and how miserable it makes me a little.

I am off now to go finish baking my last batch of cookies. mmmm cookies.

D.

update: my visit with Sean was lovely, and he paid me the highest compliment: said my Christmas tree looked like Sarah Richardson had decorated it ( his and my favourite designer, and to hear that from a gay man....wow!!!!) :) :) :)
D.