blabbity blah

I haven't blogged in six months...a lot has happened. I've been having horrible issues with my youngest son, who fell in with a bad crowd this year at school and has been arrested three times since my last blog entry. I am at my wits' end with him, we've tried counselling, all sorts of punishments...he doesn't seem to care. His most recent arrest was last week and we're waiting to see if the police are going to charge him this time and give him a criminal record...*sigh*. My oldest son flunked out of college first semester and has since gotten and lost a job and is currently unemployed and not in school. I feel like a complete failure as a parent. *sigh*

My pain has escalated...I had the temp. surgery "fix" five weeks ago and the pain is already back full force. I see another neuro surgeon on the 13th and hope and pray this one will operate and find a permanent solution to this hell.

My sister's husband called my son last week and told him my mother is very ill. I think she's dying. I went to visit her last weekend and she's not well at all...she has lymphoma and it's spread to her bone marrow and she was in terrible spirits while we were there. :( I know we've had our differences, but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and I'm trying to mend our fences.

Things just seem like a nightmare lately.
Speaking of dreams...I had one about Alex (my ex-love, not my son) yesterday and even though I haven't thought about him in so long it's totally fucked me up the last couple days...grrr. Will I ever get over that???? :( :(
D.