Post-Xmas

Christmas was good; enjoyed a quiet one with my boys. :) They went and stood in line at 1 am boxing day for me so I could get a new computer which I'm typing on and it's fantastic! They're good boys. :) Braden and I went and got a new wireless router today too and it's awesome. Braden's still having issues from his wisdom teeth removal surgery two freakin' months ago so hopefully the dentist can get him in AGAIN tomorrow. Seems neverending!
I'm going to make homemade turkey soup tomorrow.
Teaching make up lessons on Wednesday, then the heart procedure on Thursday.
Blog soon.
D.

Merry Xmas

My god, I can't believe I haven't blogged since summer, and it's Xmas this weekend!! I really should blog more often.
So let's see...the health issues continue...wearing the permanent leg braces all the time now: had to have them modified but they're tolerable now. Had another spinal injection procedure on Friday. And found out last week that I may have a blocked coronary artery and I'm scheduled to have an angiogram and possible angioplasty next Thurs, Dec. 30th. The good times just never stop here!! Hopefully all will be well.
Really missing Chloe, my first Xmas without her in 17 years. Henry does help fill the void and he is so lovable and sweet, but I don't think I'll ever stop missing my little Chloe.
Wow, I'm just full of Christmas cheer here, eh! lol
I am baking cookies at the moment, so I'm trying! :):)
Happy holidays to all!
D.

Summer Update

Well, let's see....this summer hasn't been my favourite since I broke my ankle (AGAIN 20th time can you believe it!) on June 26th. I was in a wheelchair for 7 weeks and on house arrest accordingly. blah. On the plus side, I read a LOT of books this summer!! Like, I am keeping the public library in business LOT of books!
Had my follow-up fracture clinic appt last week and my ankles are not going to heal...:( I'm being fitted for permanent braces on both legs next week, will have to keep wearing the cast until I get them in a few weeks. I have to see a specialist the orthopedic surgeon is sending me to to try and find a permanent solution for me because this fracturing business is getting sooooo old. They may be able to do an ankle replacement, not sure with the Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Here's hoping!

Tomorrow is my oldest son's 21st birthday, I feel so old!!! yikes. Time flies. He's going back to college in October for video game creation, and since he has lived in Nintendoland for most of those 21 years, I think this is a good choice!

Youngest son is helping my ex husband roof as a part time job again this summer. Keeps him out of trouble, which in turn makes mama happy!

D.

and things plod on

That doesn't sound very exciting for a blog entry, but things are actually okay at the moment. Do you believe it!!?
Braden's moving in with his father, so that's helpful to the stress level and the level of things being stolen from our house. I've told Alex he needs to have a job by the end of June or he'll be facing eviction as well.
This is lightening my load, I have to say.
I feel very happy this week.
A visit I had on the weekend (DD)didn't hurt either. hee!!
Things are good.
:)
D.

Busy Debbie

I've been very busy with my students having RCM theory and practical exams, and we just had our annual concert a couple weeks ago. On top of that I had a really bad flu which lasted nearly a month. I'm still not 100%. While recuperating I had an idea for a children's story. I wrote it, then after it was done I was at Chapters and discovered a book with much the same premise as mine, so back to the drawing board. Kind of bummed me out, I was really excited and thought it was a really unique concept. Oh well.
Still having problems with my youngest son. He is going to be going to stay with his father for a bit, I think. Tough love is needed, I can't see him being successful in life the way he's going at all and I want him to be happy and have an honest, successful life, not end up in prison or worse.
I persevere...
D.

Dear Chloe:

It's been four months now since you left me, and not a day goes by that I don't miss you and think about you and wish you were still here. I still cry from the emptiness you left behind inside me. You made my life a better place to be, and I pray that people are right and that I will see you again one day.
Missing you so very much, my sweet baby jane,
xoxo
Mommy

Happy birthday to me

Today (yesterday now, I guess technically since it's now 12:08 am March 21st) was my birthday. It was really nice and I enjoyed it very much. Went out for dinner with my kids, Cory and her family, Mike, Chantel and one of her daughters. Had a really good time and got some nice loot too!
Mike wished me a happy birthday on his radio show earlier today and played a song for me. :) that was also nice.
DD (boytoy) sent birthday wishes and squeezes by email; hopefully will have them in person this week. ;)
Much better than last year's birthday. :)
D.

Grumbles and crumbles

I sometimes wonder how I manage to stay (relatively) sane.
Between health issues, pet illnesses and deaths, (lazy, some druggie, some adult, all lazy) unemployed children who refuse to do the simplest chores to pick up after themselves, money worries, work, work, work, I sometimes just want to scream and throw myself into the nearest body of water.
Henry (new fur friend) got really sick last weekend after being neutered. (pneumonia) He's better now, thankfully, and he's really sweet. But over $700 in vet bills in the month I've had him is not helping financial matters in the least.
I could cheerfully strangle Alex, my oldest son, who moved back in since he is not working and doesn't seem like he will be working any time in the near future. I am at the end of my rope with him and his infernal laziness.
The youngest son isn't much better. He constantly cuts classes and has attitude. Hasn't been arrested lately or caught with drugs, so I guess I should be grateful??
So here I sit. Still (somewhat) sane and not (yet) engulfed in Hamilton Harbour...
D.

Matthew Good :)

Henry

It's been nearly five weeks and I'm still heartbroken over the loss of my Chloe. I think of her every single day.
The pain is lessened some by Henry, our new fur baby. He's nine months old; a red and white tabby persian cat. He's very sweet, and I got him for nothing even though he has two pedigrees because the breeder has cancer and just wanted a good home for him. I was very lucky to get him indeed. He has some health issues; his face/nose is much flatter than Chloe's was (she was also a persian) and he has a lot of trouble breathing. He had an upper respiratory infection when I first got him. I took him to the vet and he was on antibiotics and anti-inflammatories for two weeks. He doesn't seem much better though, poor guy. I hope it improves soon for him, sad to see a kitten so little having such breathing troubles. :(
Nothing else has happened really since Chloe's death. Still just going through the motions really.
D.

going through the motions...

I've never been so sad in my entire life as since Chloe passed away. It was the worst thing and this is the only time I will talk about it. She suffered terribly her last two days on earth. She couldn't walk and could barely stand, and when she did she would fall over and just lay there. It totally broke my heart, and I got the vet to come as soon as I could to end her misery. I was hoping it would be a peaceful passing, but it was not. It took two sedative injections and two lethal injections, the second directly into her heart to end it. I was absolutely hysterical with grief. I still can't type about it without tears in my eyes. My poor darling girl. We laid her to rest at Cory's in her garden and I was beyond losing my shit...I couldn't work for two days and even on the third day I was so griefstricken I don't know how I even got through that night of teaching. I was choking back tears the entire time. I went through so much, blaming myself at times (thinking I should have either gotten her to the vet earlier or done something, I don't even know what...I was incoherent in my sadness) I don't think I'll ever fully get over her death. Anyone that says losing a pet isn't the same as a family member/human being has never truly loved a pet. I miss her so much every day. :( :( She was like one of my children, I had her for nearly 17 years and she was my best friend. She was always there for me, through my divorce, my illnesses, raising my children by myself...I miss her so much.
Yesterday we got a new fur friend. I feel guilty about it. I hope wherever Chloe is, she doesn't think I've replaced her because she can never be replaced in my heart; she's there forever. I'll tell you about the new friend later...he was a real gift, but I can't talk about him yet in respect for my sweet Chloe..rest in peace, my sweet baby jane, I can't wait to see you again one day; I miss you every single day.
:(
D.

R.I.P. Chloe (1993-2010)

My incredible sadness and heartache are overwhelming. :( :(
D.

quick blog post

I can't say much here, because I've been crying for nearly 24 straight hours. Chloe is in terrible shape and I've never felt so sorry for any living thing. She's breaking my heart and I wish I could end her suffering right now.
I'm going to get the vet to euthanize her tomorrow so I'll be in no shape for blogging for a while.
D.

:(

I'm very sad.
There just doesn't seem to be much to look forward to any more.
Soon I'll have no Braden, no Chloe...I'll just have nothing, really.
D.

New year, nothing else new really...

The holidays came and went. Braden is still stealing, and has an appointment today to see about finding somewhere else to live. So not much has changed, basically. I hope he finds somewhere though. *sigh* I feel like such a failure as a parent where he's concerned. I sincerely hope he can turn his own life around, because I certainly haven't been able to.
The cat is still hanging on. She has her good and bad days. She's obviously fading, but still seems to find some enjoyment out of life and my company so I'm leaving it as is for now. Makes me sad, I'll miss the little furball so much. I've had her as long as I've had Braden, and she's given me MUCH less hassle!
Back to work this week; going well.
D.