I had Alex and Amanda over tonight for Xmas eve and drove them home after....not realizing I was leaving Braden alone with an unopened bag with a prescription for my sleeping pills in it in my bedroom I picked up earlier ( I thought it just had my inhaler in it; I didn't realize they'd filled the sleeping pills too; the bag was sealed) until just now...when I realized the bag was open and I hadn't opened it. Took out the bottle and counted...sure enough...two are missing. yes, you may say, only two, but to me...that's two days without sleep, and it's the principle of the thing. I just woke him up and he of course denied it as usual. *sigh*
D.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I can't even think of a title...
So Thursday was the Matt Good concert I looked forward to for the last 3 months.
Unfortunately an hour before I was supposed to leave for the concert I went to a meeting with Braden and his drug counsellor. Braden refused to go to rehab, and told me to "shove my rehab up my ass" among other lovely things he said about me/to me/to the counsellor at the meeting. The counsellor also seemed to blame me for things. I felt I was totally being ganged up on, burst into tears and left. I cried for an hour, didn't think I'd even go to the concert, then felt guilty because I spent 70 bucks on the ticket so I went. Then wished I hadn't. Matt Good. My absolute favourite. I couldn't enjoy it, and was actually in tears several times during the concert. I went alone, which didn't help, when I saw everyone else there NOT alone.
I feel so overwhelmed.
Then on Friday, I woke up to no heat AGAIN (the seven year continuing bullshit of the furnace that does NOT work) Called the landlords, they bitched about me having to pay for a service call...I said it is 58 degrees Fahrenheit in here. The thermostat is set to 72. That tells ME there is something wrong with the furnace.
Nine hours later I was still waiting for the furnace technician to come. And I had to go to work...and Braden had of course not shown up after school... the technician called and said he'd be another hour so I had to call my work and tell my boss I had to cancel the first couple students. He was furious and berating me because our Xmas concert was the next day...I had no choice, the tech. had told me if nobody was here he wouldn't come back until Monday and it was now 50F in here...and I was waiting for him with my coat and boots on it was so cold.
Right after I called my boss Braden came home so I got ready to leave...to find out the workmen outside had parked their flatbed truck behind my car, blocking me in. I asked them to move it several times and they were ignoring me. By now I was in tears and hopelessly late for work. Braden went out and yelled "HEY. MOVE YOUR FUCKING TRUCK NOW!" and since he is twice their size they immediately moved it.
So I got to work finally, only to find out one of the students I cancelled had quit because of short notice and my boss had lost a years' tuition ($700 or so) :( So now I'm in the bad books and I'm worried I might not have a job on top of everything else. I called the student's parents to apologize, but the father was angry and is apparently a bit of a hothead so it's probably to no avail. :(
Luckily the Xmas concert went well today. I hope that helps my case that all my students did well in it.
D.
Unfortunately an hour before I was supposed to leave for the concert I went to a meeting with Braden and his drug counsellor. Braden refused to go to rehab, and told me to "shove my rehab up my ass" among other lovely things he said about me/to me/to the counsellor at the meeting. The counsellor also seemed to blame me for things. I felt I was totally being ganged up on, burst into tears and left. I cried for an hour, didn't think I'd even go to the concert, then felt guilty because I spent 70 bucks on the ticket so I went. Then wished I hadn't. Matt Good. My absolute favourite. I couldn't enjoy it, and was actually in tears several times during the concert. I went alone, which didn't help, when I saw everyone else there NOT alone.
I feel so overwhelmed.
Then on Friday, I woke up to no heat AGAIN (the seven year continuing bullshit of the furnace that does NOT work) Called the landlords, they bitched about me having to pay for a service call...I said it is 58 degrees Fahrenheit in here. The thermostat is set to 72. That tells ME there is something wrong with the furnace.
Nine hours later I was still waiting for the furnace technician to come. And I had to go to work...and Braden had of course not shown up after school... the technician called and said he'd be another hour so I had to call my work and tell my boss I had to cancel the first couple students. He was furious and berating me because our Xmas concert was the next day...I had no choice, the tech. had told me if nobody was here he wouldn't come back until Monday and it was now 50F in here...and I was waiting for him with my coat and boots on it was so cold.
Right after I called my boss Braden came home so I got ready to leave...to find out the workmen outside had parked their flatbed truck behind my car, blocking me in. I asked them to move it several times and they were ignoring me. By now I was in tears and hopelessly late for work. Braden went out and yelled "HEY. MOVE YOUR FUCKING TRUCK NOW!" and since he is twice their size they immediately moved it.
So I got to work finally, only to find out one of the students I cancelled had quit because of short notice and my boss had lost a years' tuition ($700 or so) :( So now I'm in the bad books and I'm worried I might not have a job on top of everything else. I called the student's parents to apologize, but the father was angry and is apparently a bit of a hothead so it's probably to no avail. :(
Luckily the Xmas concert went well today. I hope that helps my case that all my students did well in it.
D.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
ups and downs
So lets see...got my car back, spent 400 bucks on snow tires, snapped the key off in the ignition and had to pay another 200 for a new ignition, got in a car accident on Thurs (old lady was in front of me going into the hospital parking lot and couldn't drive, reversed into my car), totally effed my back up...not even a week after spinal surgery. grrr...at least the car's okay, thank goodness! I haven't even had it back a week yet!
Braden stole my painkillers and sold them...I'm sooo fed up with him. Going to see his drug counsellor in person on Monday. And this was the thirty seconds I took them out of my bra and hid them in my pillowcase because my back was too sore to wear my bra and I went to pee for thirty seconds I swear to god and he stole them. WTF.
In good news, I won the contest to go see Matt Good record a dvd recorded performance tomorrow in Toronto! yay!! only 100 people will be in the audience and one will be me! Hope my back will be ok, it's really sore tonight. I'm taking the brat with me so I can keep an eye on him. *sigh*
I think I'm going to see Jewelle tomorrow and finally meet her new baby before the concert too. :) Hope the weather will be good!
Looking forward to tomorrow, there's so little to look forward to these days..
D.
Braden stole my painkillers and sold them...I'm sooo fed up with him. Going to see his drug counsellor in person on Monday. And this was the thirty seconds I took them out of my bra and hid them in my pillowcase because my back was too sore to wear my bra and I went to pee for thirty seconds I swear to god and he stole them. WTF.
In good news, I won the contest to go see Matt Good record a dvd recorded performance tomorrow in Toronto! yay!! only 100 people will be in the audience and one will be me! Hope my back will be ok, it's really sore tonight. I'm taking the brat with me so I can keep an eye on him. *sigh*
I think I'm going to see Jewelle tomorrow and finally meet her new baby before the concert too. :) Hope the weather will be good!
Looking forward to tomorrow, there's so little to look forward to these days..
D.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Writing from my fog of pain....
Well I still have all the Braden stuff etc. going on but quite frankly, my health is so bad right now it's foremost in the chain of events.
I had dental surgery on Thurs...a gum graft. I have a lot of dental problems linked to my bone disease. (the OI)
Then on Friday I had my quarter-monthly day surgery of the injection into my spinal cord that helps my pain recede temporarily for a month or three.
Well, that dental surgery was a LOT worse than I was led to believe...it's been hellish pain and I wasn't sure I'd even be able to have the spinal surgery I was in such bad shape Friday morning before it (threw up on my way to the hospital even) but I survived. The spinal thing was nothing this time in comparison to the pain my mouth/face has been in the last four days. I went back to the dentist yesterday and it turns out I have a post op infection in my mouth, I'm on heavy duty antibiotics and pain killers which are barely touching it. I had a fever of 103 last night...it was down a bit during the day today but up a bit again tonight and the pain is horrific, eating nearly impossible. I've lived primarily on juice the last few days.
Keep you posted, off for (hopefully) some sleep tonight.
D.
I had dental surgery on Thurs...a gum graft. I have a lot of dental problems linked to my bone disease. (the OI)
Then on Friday I had my quarter-monthly day surgery of the injection into my spinal cord that helps my pain recede temporarily for a month or three.
Well, that dental surgery was a LOT worse than I was led to believe...it's been hellish pain and I wasn't sure I'd even be able to have the spinal surgery I was in such bad shape Friday morning before it (threw up on my way to the hospital even) but I survived. The spinal thing was nothing this time in comparison to the pain my mouth/face has been in the last four days. I went back to the dentist yesterday and it turns out I have a post op infection in my mouth, I'm on heavy duty antibiotics and pain killers which are barely touching it. I had a fever of 103 last night...it was down a bit during the day today but up a bit again tonight and the pain is horrific, eating nearly impossible. I've lived primarily on juice the last few days.
Keep you posted, off for (hopefully) some sleep tonight.
D.
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