bringing the sexy

Went to the family doctor on Wednessday about the ankle from hell. She agreed she thought it was still broken and sent me for more x-rays. The results came in on Thursday:
"Persistent fracture. No signs of healing."
Which I pretty much knew already. Why the cast was taken off two weeks ago is beyond me.
So they called the fracture clinic and were told I would have to wait to see the original ortho surgeon...who is on holidays until Nov. 12th!!! Can you believe how fucking stupid that is!?? I obviously told them there's no way I'm walking around uncasted on a broken ankle for another two weeks. So yesterday they sent me to the ER, and I now am sporting the sexiest look of all which I'm hopefully linking to a pic on here if I can figure it out. WTH happened to being able to post pics on here...!It's quite the contraption, hopefully it helps this damn ankle heal soon; I really want to drive again some day!

update: linking did not work, you'll have to copy and paste the link here in your browser to see the damn thing, sorry :

http://mypictures.bell.ca/view/uploads/details.do?lsdb=7&elementID=7843920257&subretailerid=BELLM&containerID=2150341121&page=1&retailerid=BELLM

finding my way through the labrynth...

Well.
Thursday did NOT go as expected.
A came over and was even hotter/ more gorgeous than I remembered. We talked, caught up etc...then other things....and those other things did not go well, let's just say. It's weird how you can have the best sex of your life with a person, then a couple years later the total opposite with the same person. How can that be? It was very nice to see him though, and I have to say that beyond the shadow of a doubt, I am over him finally. It's hard to explain: I just wasn't feeling it like before, like he's a completely different person than the one I loved. He's a nice person, and absolutely one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen, but there's something missing. He's not the geek I fell for. Ah well, closure is a good thing! This/he has been hanging over my head for the last 8 years. I was really worried I wouldn't be over him if I saw him again in person, but I am. Yay!
D.

Is it getting hot in here?

No, I think it's just me.
The risque emails I did receive today...hooboy!
I think there will be gratification this Thursday...with any luck. I didn't know it would go this fast with Alex.
All I know is I've never been so hot for anyone as I am for him.
D.

Sunday funnies

Well, that's a misnomer, because there really wasn't much funny about today. It was a beautiful October afternoon. I was, of course, stuck indoors.
Yesterday I attempted to walk the two blocks to the store on crutches. TWO BLOCKS. It was a fucking nightmare. I had to take many, many breaks, and stupidly thought if I brought the grocery cart home I wouldn't have to carry my purchases. Not realizing that it was downhill most of the way home. Have you ever tried to hobble with a crutch under one arm, the other on a grocery cart trying desperately to rein it in while it quickly gains speed going downhill and being urged on by semi-high winds? While having to take constant breaks for the aching pain you're feeling in your ankle, and nearly being blown off kilter every 30 seconds by the wind/acceleration of said grocery cart? I was crying by the time I got home and won't be repeating that experience any time soon. I go to the doctor this Wednesday for this damn ankle and I hope to god they can do something about it! That's ridiculous; they've obviously taken the cast off too soon.
Received a couple of emails from A this weekend; apparently he has the flu or something.
I made homemade veggie soup today that was delicious. I feel like all I do is sit around on my ass which is gradually or not so gradually getting fatter from sitting on it constantly and filling my face.
I have a majorly busy week ahead of me. At least it will keep me from sitting around and eating from boredom!
D.

crankypants

It's dismal, foggy, rainy and cold outside and in my heart currently. :P
It's been a weird week. Slightly depressing; boring.
Today I got another Alex email....changing his mind again. WTF. Men are worse than women with changing their minds, I swear.
D.

drunk dialling

Drunk and....I came clean, and I don't think it's probably good.
That's all.for now.
D.

anticipation

Well, I finally made a decision.
I'm going to see A tomorrow. Well, A is coming to see me, rather, after work. I'm actually really excited/trepidatious at the prospect; it's been so long and we always had such amazing chemistry. So nervous!
D.

crankypants

I am cranky. My landlord is a fucking dick troll. That is all on that front. No other explanations needed.
A certain person is totally effing with my head. 16 emails before 2 pm. That is all. Sixteen. (I typed sexteen the first time...subliminally? i dunno....lol)I want to see him. But I don't.
Bah.
D.

What the eff!?

How in hell could I lose an essential undergarment like a bra, I ask you!? I have torn this house apart and I swear to GOD I have NOT been stripping outside....recently. :P
D.

Blast from the Past

Confusion is my middle name.
Because I heard from he who's name shall not be spoken last night. (hint: it was Alex.) And he wants to see me.
And I am very stupid because I'm considering it.
Argh.
D.

Disgusting

I am disgusted by the fact that the U.S. military currently does not allow gay men and women to serve their country unless they lie about their sexual orientation. Obama certainly better repeal that ban ASAP, it's appalling.

I have never understood homophobia, or why homosexuals aren't allowed the same rights as heterosexuals. Maybe I'm just more liberated than most, but I just don't get it. Racism, sexism, any prejudice = no excuse for it. Prejudice of any kind should not be tolerated, but still appears to be alive and well. *sigh*

D.

Peace/pieces

First order of business: I cannot for the life of me fathom why in the HELL Obama was given a Nobel Peace Prize...he was in office all of what...two weeks?...when he was nominated for it, and is, in fact, still at war with more than one nation...so how exactly does this embody peace??? Obviously TPTB are just trying to drive home to us how much more awesome Obama is compared to George Doubleya. And really a TicTac running the country would be better than Bush, but we don't award them Nobel Peace Prizes. I'm not saying that somewhere down the road he won't actually deserve this for something he may do in the future, but I think there were a lot more deserving individuals this time around that did actual deeds that promoted peace.

Second: oooooh, do NOT get me started on Stephen Harper and the total hypocrisy of his "surprise" performance at an arts gala last weekend. It was obviously totally orchestrated (pardon the pun) to generate more popularity for him...to show his "human side" (barf) and to counteract his total LACK of support for the arts in the past. He is still not supporting them; but this is an attempt to make it look as though he does. I am also offended that one author of an article I read about it said he "wasn't as bad as Ringo" doing the Beatles tune he sang. Please. Ringo rocks!!


D.

There's a hole in my retina, dear Liza, dear Liza...

So it turns out the reason I can't see out of my right eye (they're both kinda shit but the right one's definitely the worst) is because there's a hole in my retina and it's leaking blood. So I will be having eye surgery in 3 weeks. I've had problems for about a year now with retinal hemhorraging with the diabetes, but worse the last couple months. The retina specialist said I won't get my sight that's left the building back, but they'll prevent further vision loss so that's good. Always something, eh.
Pain's been returning in my spine, so kind of a not good week here, lack of sleep and all that. But on the plus side, I think I get my cast off my leg next week to trade in for an air cast, so that should help, plus I freakin' HATE casts so yay for it leaving! I've been cranky for the last 3 days. Listening to the new Matt Good album right now though, that's helping!! :) :) Hilarious that Mike went and bought this for me (hilarious to me, anyway, knowing as I do that Mike HATES Matt with a passion; his music and generally as a human being - he toured with him years ago and can't stand him)
:D
Been hanging with Mike quite a bit; good thing we're enjoying it as I won't be able to drive probably for about another month with the broken leg still and the eye stuff. I'm sure he's glad too as he was jokingly threatening to take me for a walk in the woods on uneven ground the other day hahaha (to break the other leg; he likes having the car lol)
:)
D.

le sigh

I can go from so happy to so miserable in such an inordinately short span of time I think I might actually lose my mind.
I'm so sad that some of my friends think I am really just a selfish, manipulative nasty person. I honestly have never seen myself as deliberately manipulating anyone ever, and if I have complained or vented to friends, it's because they were friends, I thought that's what friends do, and I would certainly reciprocate, and have, for anyone wanting to talk to me. I never meant to be demanding or anything else. It saddens me to be seen this way. I hate myself. Can you really be so selfish if you hate yourself? Maybe that in itself is selfish, I don't even know anymore. I certainly don't like myself at all. And feel I can't be myself, because myself is an asshole it seems.
:( I'm going to have to try to turn myself into something that people can actually like. I thought I was a good person, but now I don't think so anymore.
D.