Health care, shmealth care

So the promised hemotology appointment has still not materialized. I spoke with my family doctor´s office and they had had actual voice contact with the ´backfromvacationallimportantappointmentbooking girl’ early today. She told them for sure she would call back today with an appointment for me. Needless to say, she did not do this, and when my doctor’s office called back later, they could only get an answering machine. I think this is absolutely ridiculous and total bullshit. I asked if my doctor could possibly refer me to someone else and I guess they are working on it. GRRRRR.

There is way too much snow here. It was so hard to get out of my parking spot today with the snow all piled in this corner. GRRRR.

/end of bitchfest

D.

snow, snow, go away......

Well I saw my Seanie Thursday night and it was wonderful as always to see him. :)

My open house last night didnt go exactly as planned due to a blizzard. A few people did show up though, and we all had a really good time. My other best friend, Mike, came with his gf, and Chantel and her kids, Tish and her kids, and Lori all came as well.

The landlord (aka the troll) and the snow plow they hired put a six foot pile of snow blocking my car in the driveway...nobody elses. just mine. And mine is the only one without a garage. And mine is the only handicapped/wheelchair accessible unit, go figure.

I hate snow. That is all.
D.

Drugs in my pocket....and I DO know what to do with them...

Well I still have not gotten an appointment date to see the hemotologist after 3 weeks of my family doctor trying to get an urgent referral for me. My doctor says that their office keeps telling her that the girl who makes the appointments is on holiday and to call back on Monday. Two weeks in a row now. This seems somewhat fishy to me. First of all ...why the hell is there only one person who can make appointments there (apparently shes a pretty damn important part of that office, eh), secondly, why do they keep telling us she will return on Monday two weeks in a row, and finally, what the HELL...you would not want to be deathly ill would you if an URGENT referral has you wait this long. If you had anything life threatening, I guess it would be up to your family to sue them as you would likely be dead by the time you got an appointment date. end of rant.

Side note:I am taking enough percacet to kill an elephant I think. By the time they figure out what is going on with me and get rid of this pain I will be heading for drug rehab.

On a happier note, Sean is coming over tonight. I love my Seanie. :) He couldnt make it to my open house this Saturday so is coming over tonight instead to exchange gifts etc. I have been in a cookie baking frenzy. Every square inch of my fridge freezer and deep freeze is filled with cookies and I have (fingers crossed) thus far managed to keep Braden from eating them all. I had to get them all done before Sat. so I can give people cookies for Xmas. Ive been in good spirits (might be the percacet) and looking forward to the celebrations this year. I think having this party was a good idea, keeps my mind off the pain and how miserable it makes me a little.

I am off now to go finish baking my last batch of cookies. mmmm cookies.

D.

update: my visit with Sean was lovely, and he paid me the highest compliment: said my Christmas tree looked like Sarah Richardson had decorated it ( his and my favourite designer, and to hear that from a gay man....wow!!!!) :) :) :)
D.

Hail, Deb

I swear I was Hitler in my former life. Its the only explanation I can possibly come up with that explains the things that happen to me in this one: I AM PAYING FOR IT.
*warning: whine ahead*
I am pretty much completely stoned trying to rid myself of the escalating pain I have experienced for the last 3 months and yet still feel the damn pain.. my MRI results from last week came back and I am awaiting an appointment with a hemotologist to follow up those results. Also, now the powers that be have also blessed me with strepthroat and bronchitis as an added bonus. If I were a horse, they would have shot me long ago. I have new pain medication (which appears to not work so far and makes me nauseous) and antibiotics following yesterdays doctors appointment...I think its safe to say I could open up my own pharmacy at this point.
K, Off to wallow in my own misery a little more...
D.
p.s. sorry I have no apostrophes...my PC died and I had to learn how to use my Mac, but still havent fathomed out why the heck my question marks and apostrophes look like this: é è wth!! o_O

yeah, that's me...Gimpy

Well I've tried to restrain myself from complaining too much on here, although the last three months have basically been a neverending and escalating kaleidoscope of pain for me.
I have to go for some more tests tomorrow...blood tests again this time as apparently last week's MRI divulged that my bone marrow is not what it should be. As I hunch along my hallway, "walking" in a style reminiscent of Quasimodo, I'm just hopeful they discover what in the bloody HELL is wrong and make it go away. (oh and hopefully be non fatal, please and thanks)
Whiningly,
D.

'Tis the Season...

Autumn and the time up until the new year is my favourite time of year. It's the only time I get creative/crafty/in the spirit of things, so to speak. I almost always make my own gifts for everyone. In the past I have made my own potpourri (from flowers in my own garden), made tree ornaments, homemade salsa, homemade jams, wooden decorative sleighs, bathroom baskets, cookies and many other items over the years. Martha Stewart would seriously be proud of me.
This year it is practically a sickness...it is only mid November and I am already not only finished my Christmas shopping, but I have also wrapped everything, including all the stocking items. Ya, I know... however, I haven't done my holiday baking yet, which I am giving as gifts again this year (by request) but that's only because Braden (my youngest son) will eat everything out of the freezer as I found out through unfortunate circumstances last year. (Sorry again to those of you who didn't get a gift...) And um...I do already have all the tins/containers in readiness for when I DO bake.
I'm so ahead of the game, in fact, I'm planning a holiday open house this year. Mostly just so I'll have more decorating, craft and food projects. *blush* On my agenda: making my own holiday soaps, (never done that one before *claps hands in anticipation*) more baking, more extensive indoor and outdoor decorating than I've done in the past. Yay!
...like I said, it's a sickness....
D.

Finally!!

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in...forever. Without the gory details....blah blah, pain, MRI's, doctors, pain, blah blah...

Still bad, but thought I'd take a time-out from my daily agony to update the ol' blog for those of you unfortunate enough to follow it.


I saw Matt Good again here in Hamilton a couple weeks ago. He was awesome as per usual, but seemed very sad/depressed/subdued during his concert with hardly any of his trademark witty banter. I asked him about it after the show and he said he was just tired. I don't think being in Hamilton, hometown of his cheating, gold digging ex-wife probably helped his mood much. Gratuitous pic of Matt and I on his tour bus after the Hamilton concert:



















Last night one of my little piano students burst into tears during her lesson. I felt really bad...I've never actually made one cry before. I called her mother later and she said she was just crying from frustration because she couldn't play the song we were working on. Is it wrong that I find it ironically kinda funny that the song was "We Wish you a Merry Christmas"? :P (No merriment happening there apparently.)

I really have to get painting again soon. I miss it, but I can't sit long enough with the pain thing going on to do it.

And on this note of sciatic proportions, I must now stop typing and stand up before my ass spontaneously combusts.
Later.
D.

Matt Good + Massey Hall = phenomenal!!!

So I know I haven't blogged in ages. Truth be told, I've been in such bad physical pain I can barely sit for five straight minutes, and it hasn't been a pretty thing the last couple months. I'm not going to make this a whining blog though, just explaining why I've been AWOL is all. :)

So right to the main event: I went to see Matthew Good at Massey Hall in Toronto Friday night...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW. The acoustics in that place are fanfuckingTASTIC!! I was in 2nd row centre floor, and my god, it was like the music was just surrounding me completely and blowing my little freakin' mind! Honourable mention to his opening 2-women-show, Dala, as well. What a pair of pipes those two have!! Very impressive.

Matt was in fine form, totally outdoing himself as per usual...I've seen him in concert 6 times now and this was by far the best performance I've ever seen. I sat through his two and a half hour show in spite of constant shooting pain in my posterior region (and those chairs in Massey Hall...don't get me started...I felt my chair was dropping closer to the floor by the second, and every time I'd shift, the chair would drop-recline; I ended up in the lap of the guy behind me five times during the concert...I felt I should almost propose to him by the conclusion of the performance haha o_O) and frankly hardly noticed the pain through most of the concert I was so mesmerized. Not only was his music beautiful, gut and heart wrenching, and his voice second to none in spite of his current fight with bronchitis, but his hysterically warped and funny sense of humour made it as much a stand up comedy show as a musical concert.

Sean went with me...Sean was not a fan of Matt's...now he is. He thought he was hilarious, and said he thought the music was better live than recorded, which he has never found to be the case with any concert before. This is the sign of a true artist...no "studio magic" needed!!

Matt's renditions of "Avalanche", "Load me Up", and "Metal Airplanes" were major standouts for me, though the whole concert was simply mind boggling in its sheer magnitude. Matt mentioned later that at one point he looked out into the audience and had a tingle go up and down his spine and an epiphany that this was the moment and he was destined to do this for at least another 20 years. We hope so, Matt!!!

I saw Matt backstage after the concert and gave him the dog portraits I painted him. He's such a great guy...I know I'm biased but he is!! lol

Here's a couple pics of him onstage, then backstage checking out the portraits and showing them to his crew and a pic of him and yours truly:

I see Matt again next Friday here in Hamilton at Hamilton Place...can't wait!!! hehehehehhehe *so obsessed*...er...I mean, I have such respect and admiration for him. All kidding aside, I really do you know...not only do I love his music but I love his mind, political beliefs, sense of haha, and just ...well...his humanity. He's the most real person in or out of the public eye that I have ever met, and his generosity, kindness and recognition/action toward the plight of lesser fortunate individuals is truly inspiring. The fact he can still laugh and even function after the personal trials he has endured over the last year is awe inspiring at the very least.

/end of gush (for the next five days until the next concert anyway teehee)

D.

Pain

Is not my friend. Without going into a total whining spree here, I simply cannot stand the pain that is my right shoulder any more. It's been going on for nearly a year, off and on. Mostly on. I'm finally getting an ultrasound done on it in a couple weeks, and it's not a minute too soon. When you can't sleep through a night without waking up to pop Tylenol 3's every few hours, to hold off curling into the fetal position and sobbing uncontrollably, I believe there is a problem, Houston. When you can't even turn light switches on and off without cringing in agony, there is a problem. Self amputation is starting to look attractive. o_O

....back to a drug induced (hopefully) sleep....

D.

happy autumnal equinox

I love the autumn. I don't know if that's morbid of me to love the season where basically everything dies, but I come alive in the fall. I have this sense of contentment, security...my childhood was kind of lonely, so I spent a lot of time outside alone with my imagination, maybe it stems from that. I always loved reading stories about hallowe'en, harvest, that kind of thing also.

I'm finally feeling a little better for the last two days, knock wood. I hope it continues!

I absolutely HAVE to get at this painting for Tara's wedding gift today; I've procrastinated this last week, though in my defense I've felt like doggie doo. It's so beautiful outside it's hard to be stuck indoors for any period of time.

*sigh* back to work...

Sickness and stuff

Well, in spite of all my good intentions, I have obviously not been writing in my blog every day. I blame this almost entirely on the germs that invaded my body a little over a week ago when I sat beside that woman who was sneezing and hacking. Damn her.

So for the last week I have been feverish, and generally feeling like hell.
And that sums it up.

I did manage to finish the second painting attempt of Matt's other dog last week as well. I think it's a little better than the first draft, and I'm all right with this one I think:

I did participate in a walkathon fundraiser to help the women's shelter in spite of raging fever on Friday. And I've managed to keep exercising even though I sincerely thought I might actually die a couple times while doing so.

Yesterday I found out he who shall not be named's child was born. I found this out by seeing his mother's congratulatory note to he and his (estranged?) wife on his facebook wall. Congratulations. And that's all I'm saying about that.

Sorry, for my lack of anything probably faintly amusing today...I'm off to try and feel better and to go attempt to teach some people about music.
D.

I said don't touch me.

The ever-so-accomodating Chloe, The Cat/Queen, showing me the love as per usual, last evening.

D.

I'm turning Japanese...

...I really think so.
I am so addicted to sushi, miso soup, almost all foods Japanese.

I'm making sushi right now for Braden (the youngest kid) and I to have for supper . ( Alex, (the oldest) is the pickiest eater in the free world, we won't even go there. If it weren't for pizza and peanut butter he would have wasted away years ago.) I swear I could eat sushi every meal, every day....mmmmmmmm....somehow I don't think that would be exactly good for you though. All things in moderation, including mercury poisoning, I would think. o_O Between sushi, miso soup and tofu though, yeah...you're basically looking at what keeps me alive. :P

Another hot smoggy day in the Hammer. You can't see more than a block down the road for the visible air pollution. Methinks I will be staying inside and painting once again today. I kindly drove the kids to school once again and will be picking them up after school, generous mama that I am. (Really I just want to keep them around a little longer for the cheap slave labour they provide. :P)

I'm nearly done the painting of Matt's second dog, Benji. Here's a picture of the portrait I did of his first dog, Casey: (sorry, crappy webcam pic, the batteries are charging for the digi cam)

Hopefully I can finish Benji's portrait in the next day or two, and I got a good start on the portrait of my sister's dog yesterday.

Back to my sushi preparations!

D.

Heat, paintbrushes and shaved pussies

Well it's a sweltering 40 degree celsius in the shade kind of day today and I'm hiding out in my air conditioning, painting. I had to emerge from my cave earlier when I couldn't find the ONE detail paintbrush I like and need, and had to immediately go to Michaels for a new one. heh. Two expensive paintbrushes and two new acrylic paints later ("silver morning", a new shade!! wooo! it sparkles) I dragged myself reluctantly from their premises. At first I thought my glasses or my sunglasses must be smudged when I came out of the store, but after cleaning both, I realized it was the smog and humidity that was fogging my vision. Sure makes one proud to be a Hamiltonian at times like that.

The Cat (or The Queen as we often call her) is sitting in all her glorious sovereignty watching me with complete disdain as I type this. (It might have something to do with the fact I'm painting dogs, or just the fact she has the most miserable personality I've ever encountered in a feline.) She's a 14 year old persian named Chloe, who loves me, and hates EVERY OTHER LIVING THING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. She tolerates my oldest child and hates the youngest, which she proves pretty much daily by hissing, scratching, growling, biting him etc. I think it's because they're the same age, have grown up together and are jealous of each other, personally. So anyway, the bitch...I mean...The Cat...won't let me brush her, so once a year I take her to the groomer and she gets shaved naked. She hates being groomed, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for Lisa, her groomer. (Why anyone would ever choose to do that for a living is beyond me, but kudos to those who do!!) But she loooooooves how it feels when she's bald afterwards and acts like a kitten and wants to cuddle...well, as much as a cat who is completely anti-social would ever cuddle, that is. What always amazes me is how extremely tiny she is without hair. She's a small cat, weighs about 7 pounds, but man, without hair...she puts one in mind of a small chihuahua, or slightly large rat. Or maybe ET while he was still in utero.


I don't have pics from her being shaved two days ago yet, but here's one from the last time:

You can see the intense enjoyment on her face. Such a sweet animal.

Back to painting now.

D.

My first (real) blog aka I am NOT a cougar

Well here I sit, when I should be painting.
My kids are at school for another hour, and all I've really accomplished today is a load of laundry washed and hung on the line. woooo, me!
Me in a nutshell: divorced single parent of two teenagers, eminently sarcastic, reasonably intelligent, jaded, but a former hopeless romantic until the said jading well...jaded me. I teach music, paint, write a bit. Artsy fartsy but without a "real job" as they say . ha

Really, lately, all my life revolves around is painting, music, the kids, watching every calorie I put in my mouth, a boxing dvd I obsessively work out to every day, and a certain person who shall remain nameless.

My kids are barely even "kids" anymore... the youngest started high school yesterday and the oldest became (well legally, anyway) an adult a couple weeks ago. Am I feeling my age? meh. somewhat. Not really. Might have something to do with the fact I only date younger men. heh. (But I'm not a 'cougar' damn it :P)

I'm currently painting Matt Good's two dogs for him. Well, one's finished. The other's giving me a hard time. (keeping in mind this is just a photograph of said dog we're talking about!) I also have to paint a portrait of my sister's dog for a wedding gift for her next month. I just started painting last year, but it seems to be going well, when I'm NOT swearing at the paint/brushes/palette/canvases/light/easel/subjects. *note: this is not very often

I met Matt Good in the summer. It was probably the singlemost thrilling thing of my life, seeing as he's kind of a hero to me. (Okay, basically I stalk him, are you happy!? :P) But anyway, he and I have spoken on the phone and through emails several times since I met him, and well, it's been kind of surreal to me!! I have been a huge fan of his music and his mind for four years now and it's really weird to know the guy in real life. And of anyone I've ever met, he is the truest to his public image. He stands by his values and everyone and everything he believes in. I have such admiration for the man, especially after all he's been through in the last year or so. He did a huge favour for me and my kids recently, and I'm painting portraits of his dogs as a kind of repayment. It's a surprise, hopefully a pleasant one! ha I'm still very paranoid about my art. My paintings are like babies to me and I'm terrified I'll give one to someone who won't appreciate it and who will toss it or something o_O But somehow I can't see Matt doing that, thankfully.

He who shall remain nameless emailed me last night, FINALLY, after not hearing from him for nearly a month and having visions of his lifeless body in a ditch along the QEW...whew. Hopefully it won't be that long before I hear from him again, my mental state doesn't cope well in these situations. (read: i might have to hone my private investigating skills which might be construed by some as that pesky "stalking" word again :P)

D.